what they don't tell you, but you learn

We recently went on a cruise, and, in reviewing the ubiquitous pictures that are taken almost daily, I came to the conclusion that I needed help. One eye was droopier than the other, I was developing jowly bits, and (and Nora Ephron wrote), I was unhappy about my neck.

I googled (love the fact it's now a verb) 'face lifts' and learned all sorts of things, most importantly, that a face lift only covers the lower portion of the face, not including the area under the nose and around the mouth (this is the area for lasers, fillers, or other treatments, apparently). So I googled brow lifts, too, and learned I needed both. I also researched the costs for these pups, and found a wide range of pricing - basically between $6000 and $24000 depending on how much work is done, or the reputation of the doctor, and sometimes even the location of said doctor (weird!).

My next effort was finding a good doctor. After speaking with my dermatologist, and web-crawling, I made an appointment with a doctor affiliated with a local university (my alma mater - which did play a part in my decision). The doctor reaffirmed that he couldn't do anything about my mouth area - apparently the skin there is really, really attached to the muscles below, thus too difficult to deal with.
He told me that my neck would look better, my jowly bits would be gone, and that the brow lift would improve both my droopiest eye, and the other one, too. I was ready to go.

The cost for both of these treatments was less than $9000, which I felt was reasonable. At my next appointment (pre-op) the goal apparently was to scare the hell out of me. Basically they listed every single thing that could go wrong (including my skin turning black a falling off). This is the CYA part of the whole procedure. The red flags here are the same for almost any surgical procedure - no heart problems, no high blood pressure (this is esp. important for the eye lift, if the pressure is too high, it can pop your stitches - or something like that) and no blood thinning meds for 2-3 weeks prior to the surgery. One also can't eat or drink for 6 hours prior to surgery. I also did NOT want to spend the night in the hospital (a savings of somewhere between $250-300). After having been photographed from numerous angles, and making several faces for the camera, I was sent home. I decided not to think about all the possible awful things that could go wrong, and focus on the newer, less droopy, me (and transferring the funds to pay for the damn thing)

Then my doctor left for the VA, and I was assigned to a new doctor. They were very nice about it - even offering to return my money, but I was committed. My new doctor had a different approach - as I learned when I met him at another pre-op: he was not going to cut under my chin, since he found what he thought was a more effective method. Fine with me - one less scar. He also told me he would follow the crows feet around my eyes to hide the brow lift scar. Who knew those things could be useful?